TBH I don’t know how much more of my energy I can keep putting into this without getting a single positive hit.

I’m not being unreasonable. I’m applying for prestige-free positions which don’t require any qualifications and which I have plenty of experience for. These are all the type of positions I was upset to start applying for a couple of months ago because they were too menial. I don’t think I’ve properly stopped crying since nine this morning.

I don’t know what to do.

I put together my new bed today. It took HOURS. My hand hurts a lot :( But I am not sleeping on the floor tonight!

I am working as typist/mail girl at my mum’s clinic three days this week and all of next. They’re only 5hr days and it’s not a real job, but it is better than hanging around.

My mum was saying things like “yeah it’s not exactly putting your brains to use” and I pointed out that jobs of that level are the kind I am currently applying for and failing to get, it’s not as though I’m going to do better if I ever to do get a real job, and she said something along the lines of “negative thought patterns blah blah!!” but… no?

I was talking about this yesterday with Tim. My mum honestly believes that I have wonderful qualifications that will eventually get me an awesome job, quite fairly because in her generation that would have been true. So it’s what I was always told, my whole life: “You’re smart! You have to go to uni so you can get a good job and be successful!” But it’s not the case now; you can be bright and qualified without it meaning much at all to an employer. And it’s difficult to see various people I know who never got a degree (or did a short degree, even) in satisfying careers and financially so much better off than I am, with my $21g HECS debt and the missed income of six years when I could have been earning a full-time wage, and coming out of it with prospects that are only minimally better than those I had going in (if indeed better at all, given the employment experience and opportunities for promotion those years would have provided). Missing out on success by choosing education was never presented to me as a possibility when I was a teenager. And to be honest, I feel betrayed by that. I feel like I was promised things that weren’t true, and I feel like I have fucked myself over by taking that on and not thinking about it harder and making a better plan when I could have.

- Playing NationStates2 (poorly)
- Getting fat from being at home too much :(
- Resisting the urge to bake for fear of compounding that problem
- Taking antibiotics AGAIN wah
- Waiting to hear back about jobs? At all?? But getting offered some possible highly reputable hourly work via my old mentor teacher which will be great if it happens, and hopefully some casual stuff at my mum’s clinic
- Hoping that my teacher’s registration goes through by Wednesday so I don’t have to do another Mandatory Notification course, laaame
- Cleaning up massively! All my stuff is SO ORGANISED.
- Upgrading to a queen-size bed… with bargains! 50% off on my quilt, two complete sheet sets for $30, 60% off on my quilt cover, 35% off my mattress and free delivery… and $99 bed frame from Ikea to be acquired on Saturday! So many bargains.
- Praising modern medicine. Antibiotics are wonderful!
- Knitting
- WISHING I HAD A JOB

Unemployment is still the worst :(

Ducks are rapists :O

Happy birthday Darwin!

To tide me over in my boredom, my mum has produced, in a folder 10cm thick, a compilation of the year’s worth of emails I sent home while I was in Italy in 2001. My dad printed out every email and put it in a folder! Who knew?

Lessons learned after several hours poring over it:
- I used to be a lot more interesting!
- I used to have much more sass?
- I miss travel a lot :(

Still need a job. There were no ASO2s to apply for this week. Possibly going to apply for local gov job where the job is to scan things, and write down what was scanned. Or, possibly going to try to dream bigger.

I enjoy lightbulb jokes.

Didn’t get the job I interviewed for last week. They said “you were quite good but no thanks”. Sent in two applications yesterday and am doing one today that I can’t really fulfill the experience criteria for but may as well. Josh suggested I set up my teacher’s registration today instead – I don’t want to but I don’t want not to :( I would not be happy as a teacher, but at least it would be productive unhappy as opposed to unemployed unhappy. I don’t know what to do :(

In the meantime, pretty sure I’m getting sick. My lungs have packed up.

Hahahaha.

What else… someone let me know that FreeRice.com now lets you practise foreign language vocabulary (matching words with English synonyms) as well as your English vocabulary. It turns out that there’s a subjects page where not only can you pick a foreign language, but you can also choose to practice English grammar, chemistry, geography, maths and art history. I would recommend this site to anyone!

This morning I dropped Josh off at work as part of the new Claire’s Unemployed Chauffeur Service. Now I am at home eating frozen peas and writing job applications :(

Edit: And this!

This is pretty cool.

I guess I could start knitting scarves for everyone I know in anticipation of winter?