Yep.

This was my last day of lectures!! As long as I can pass my assignments and exams, I have finished uni (again)! Josh was trying to get me to be all *\o/* LAST DAY but technically this is the third or fourth time I have “finished uni” so… you know. The magic is gone. And also I am going to be spending many, many hours in the next few days writing my assignments.

I HATE ASSIGNMENTS. THEY ARE SO BORING. HELP.

Hmmmmmmmassignments.

Edit: And I’m sick again :( Fourth time on drugs this month. My body keeps screwing me over :( Not really handling it so well any more :( It’s exhausting and it’s freaking me out that I can’t get it to stop :(

Hum. So my intention is to move out of home fairly early next year, depending on my employment status/location. It turns out I have three separate human entities expressing interest in moving out with me! Yay options, but… I am going to HURT AT LEAST TWO FEELINGS! :(

This weekend I was not at home from 8am Friday until 11:15pm Sunday. I am tired and my homework is Not Done At All.

Also I am all weird and sick. So I was way stroppy at work today. My bosses were trying to give me work all afternoon and I was like NO!! Too busy!! Leave me alone!! and… they did? Then it got to 4:30pm and I was like… oh. I am quite comfortably almost done? And I was out by 5:01! I need to be a bitch more often! Or be nicer, and not get fired.

Mum: Have you lost weight? You’re looking a bit… swan-like.
Claire: Nuh, I’ve weighed the same for like a year.
Mum: Well, fair enough. You don’t need to lose anything.
Claire: Hum. My BMI is totally borderline though, it’s like 24.5.
Mum: Yeah, I don’t hold with the BMI at all (n.b. my mum is a GP). That’s crazy.
Claire: I’m allowed to weigh 48kg before I am underweight!
Mum: Well isn’t that ridiculous! Look at you! What is there to lose?!

I wish my current job had come along earlier in my academic career. Run-of-the-mill whinging about assignments aside, I really like my lifestyle at the moment. The only thing is that I am starting to feel a bit mature-age student (but this could be cured by my going into a PhD, cough). I feel a lot more balanced in terms of what I am achieving that I used to. I could independently sustain myself (in a poverty-line kind of way) on my current income plus student allowances; I’d be looking at moving out from my parents’ at last right now, if I had some idea of where I’d be working next year (and therefore roughly where to go). It’s also nice having a job that isn’t What I’m Doing With My Life; my job does not suck (it is comfortable enough, and I feel very valued) but there is such a psychological difference between an end-all job and a job that is supporting another career goal. It is more hopeful.

I struggled with the lack of momentum last time I finished uni. One of the main reasons teaching appealed to me, apart from a desire to save the world with textbooks, is that it does have that sense of going somewhere; you are watching/helping people grow. However, teaching really scares me as a profession :/ First year out is meant to be horrible; I think one in two new teachers doesn’t make it past their second year before they change careers? That is lots!!! I am troubled by: the long hours, the high professional standards, the myriad airborne illnesses, the prospect of never choosing when I take my annual leave, being left too exhausted to do anything but work… I have this feeling I should look into jobs that are related to teaching, but are not teaching? Something that the MA would help me out with? Full-time tutoring, student support, curriculum design, something at the headquarters… etc? Um if anyone knows anything about this please share.

IDK. I like change. I like most of the changiness in my life at the moment. But this one makes me freak out and want my rut back :/

Laser surgery is goood. I can see so well out of my right eye now, my left eye is getting an inferiority complex! Which is as it should be; get back in your place, non-dominant eye!

The surgery was super quick and way less painful than last time. The part that freaked me out was when he was poking around trying to lift up the pre-cut flap from last time. That took a minute or two. But the actual lasering was seriously four seconds.

Then I got free coffee, and then I went home! It stung for a bit. Now I haven’t even taken painkillers and I am fine \o/ 10 minutes after the surgery, the doctor had a look at it and said it had already started to heal over. He was like “oh you have a fast healing speed!” Hell yeah. So provided I can avoid sticking my finger in my eye for a week, I am set.

My vision feels all wonky now, I am so used to relying on my left eye. It is like when you put on someone else’s glasses; my brain is like whut, this is so not what we were working with this morning. Work it out, brain.

Under doctor’s instructions, I went and had a two hour nap on the verandah swing after lunch. Naps are A+.

Modern science is AMAZING.

Today I finished and handed up four assignments, and negotiated to do 6 hours of my prac project for ESL during swot vac so I don’t have to take any more days off work (the 6 hours for Spanish I am doing on Monday, meh). This was my mood:

BETTER.

I am getting eye surgery tomorrow morning. I’m excited! Last time they gave me free sunnies, I hope they give me free sunnies? Then these are the things I’m not allowed to do:

- driving for 1 day
- using makeup or shampoo for 3 days
- sleeping unless I have eyepatch on for 3 days
- swimming or contact sports for 1 week
- touching my eye for 1 week

The lack of shampoo is what really takes its toll. Ew.

I woke up feeling not too cranky this morning. And then this is what happened to my mood over the next 13 hours:

Wah.

Of the four assignments due tomorrow, I’ve done threeish. These assignments are stress’s foot in the door, and then everything else that sucks can waltz right in :-/ Can’t get sick, need to have surgery on Thursday!! Possibly going crazy.